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Home Opinion From the Fishbowl: Ode to the Yearly Tuition Increase
  • Opinion

From the Fishbowl: Ode to the Yearly Tuition Increase

By
Shad Engkilterra
-
April 1, 2014
0

There are ideas that we’ve been sold:

Life is work, income, jobs…

Education leads to the pot of gold

And lots of money – gobs and gobs.

 

In fact, that last part is true –

Create student loans, a trillion dollars’ worth,

Textbooks, tuition and fees are due,

And to a new industry give birth.

 

And much like the housing bubble,

The industry must keep growing,

But Lord are we in trouble

If students don’t pay back what they’re owing.

 

To prevent a scenario that could be the worst,

Lobbyists and government have created laws

Designed to prohibit the bubble burst

While debt at students’ bones gnaws.

 

Still, students remain silent

While debt piles to the ceiling

Believing the money that is lent

Will not leave them kneeling.

 

While busy with jobs, family and school,

Students have no time to bother

With the Regents or government rule,

Especially the single mother and father.

 

And like some bad version of Groundhog Day

With Punxsutawney Phil,

Student futures on the altar lay

As they have to foot the bill

 

Of another tuition increase,

“The lowest in a decade

So students be at peace,”

Don’t consider you’re being played.

 

Utah tells businesses that the state is good.

Regulations against pollution are lax, of course,

And for paying employees cheaply, a business could

Get a well-educated, docile workforce.

 

Government, religion and educators, too

Trumpet the benefits of being educated.

However, those willing to help are few

And actually costs are grossly understated.

 

So, dear students, grab your ankles

And of a better future dream.

Here come the higher education ghouls

With interest in your silent scream.

 

For when you have received your degree

And are looking for some place to work,

Chances are you will be in the service industry

Feeling like a jerk.

 

Even if minimum wage is not your lot,

You will most likely find

That the stories you have bought

Were false – line upon line.

 

(Note: Salt Lake Community College at Tier II

Has proposed an increase of zero percent

So there is some good news

Even if it isn’t heaven sent.)

  • TAGS
  • editorial
  • From Inside the Glass
  • From the Fishbowl
  • Tuition Increase
Shad Engkilterra

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