Dear Mom,
I have two kids. They are great, but every time I sit down to do my homework they demand my attention. I get so frustrated because I want to spend time with them, but I also need to do my homework. Help!
Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Guess what? Kids from the beginning of time have always bothered their parents when they have been focused on doing something else that doesn’t include them. I’ll never forget the commercial about the dad reading the paper and not really listening to his kids because he wanted to finish reading the paper first. They told him they had a surprise, and that sounded interesting, so he followed them to the camper. Once inside the camper, they locked him in and the family was finally able to go on vacation.
There is something to this being bothered when we are busily doing something else, and I don’t think it’s going to end any time soon. When my kids were little and I was trying to write, they’d hang on my legs. When I got on the phone, they’d scream for attention. When I went to the bathroom…well, you get the idea.
I finally decided that if any change was going to be made it would have to come from me.
Here’s what I did.
A half an hour before doing my writing, I spent some time with them. During this time, I explained that I would be writing in a little while and that I would find something fun for them to play with during that time. Sometimes this worked. They were occupied with coloring or drawing or cutting nearby and could see what I was doing, while at the same time working on their own project.
I did some of my writing “after hours.” Naps were good and evening was good if I didn’t stay up too late.
Babysitters worked if and when I could afford them.
I also had a husband to lean on.
The more time I spent with my children when I wasn’t writing the quieter they were when I was.
Children can never be 100 percent quiet. I learned to write with noise in the background.
Treats work, too.
Activities that they do during “mommy time” are only those done during “mommy time.” I actually used this trick at church, packing only those items that would be used on Sunday. Every other day of the week they’d be put away, but you get my meaning.
As in doing homework, sometimes writing can wait, but I knew my children couldn’t. Before long they’d be all grown up. I didn’t want to be asking, “Where did the time go?” I didn’t want to miss a thing.
Give some hugs,
Mom
