I never thought I’d have much in common with the likes of rock band Van Halen, but I suddenly find myself relating to their “Hot For Teacher” song. The lyrics are running through my head –“I’ve got it bad, so bad, I’m hot for teacher,” and I definitely think “teacher needs to see me after school.”
It’s not like my situation is any different from the thousands of students who’ve crushed on their college professors before me. What makes it unique is that it’s my first time in this situation. I think I’ve hidden it pretty well. I don’t dress seductively or try to engage in unnecessary conversation. In fact, I haven’t even given the class my usual best effort in hopes to impress him. In fact, he’s probably unimpressed by me. He probably thinks I lack in the intelligence department. Maybe him being aware of my affiliation with the paper makes up for some of that. Perhaps he believes my mind is more suited to the abstract and creative rather than the sciences.
What I have learned — the SA node definitely comes in handy for this class. Especially when he first walks in; my heart races and it takes some major biological action to bring it back into rhythm. Homeostasis takes on a whole other meaning as my mind and body adjusts to external conditions and the processing of outside stimuli. I grin –ear to ear. Some days he wears his day job uniform –other days it’s warm “hoodies” and simple jeans; he looks good either way. I admire his tough “no extra credit” attitude and his smart, quick-witted humor. And his smile.
For all intents and purposes, this isn’t a heated, lustful crush. It’s an innocent “if we were in another place and time, would you like to have coffee” kind of crush — a “would you like to see if there could possibly be something here” kind of crush. It’s not a creepy “he’s 20 years older than me” kind of crush either. He’s fairly young — probably 30ish. He’s someone I would most likely pursue in my personal life. Someone I’d like to know more about. I don’t know what his hobbies are, where his interests lay, where he’s from, kids, no kids, or whether or not he’s married or involved with someone.
I don’t intend to know any of that either. Some crushes are meant to be just that –crushes –never leading to more. In fact, it couldn’t lead to more. The school’s policy states, “Salt Lake Community College actively discourages consenting romantic and sexual relationships between employee and student…Such relationships are very unwise and all employees are advised to avoid them. Even when both parties have consented to the development of such relationships, serious questions are raised about the validity of the consent, conflict of interest, and unfair treatment of others.” The policy goes on to say that “employees who engage in such consensual relationships and do not take steps to resolve the conflict of interest may be subject to the filing of a complaint and may be subject to discipline.”
Needless to say I’m not looking for some big, juicy scandal here. I’m not looking to subject anyone to disciplinary action. I just thought I’d touch on a subject The Globe has never before covered in hopes that someone out there can relate. In a way I wish he knew that I just so happen to think he is awesome. I’ve thought about suggestively dropping the paper on his desk as I hand in my final next week — tell him to read The Globe and that he may find some of it to be interesting. But I don’t think I will. In fact, I know I won’t. I will submit this article under an alias to ensure he doesn’t find out.
At the least, I’m sure I’ve informed many about the school’s policy regarding consensual student-employee relationships. And so, like many before me, feel free to crush –but leave it at that.