Editor’s Note: This fictional article was written as a contribution to The Globe’s April Fool’s Day commemorative issue designed by Shad Engkilterra. This article is for entertainment purposes only.
Health and Wellness partnered with the food courts in order to improve the health of our community.
“What we eat may affect our risk for several of the leading causes of death for Americans, notably, coronary heart disease, stroke, arteriosclerosis, diabetes, and some types of cancer. These disorders together now account for more than two-thirds of all deaths in the United States,” said Dr. C. Everett Koop former Surgeon General.
The hope is that the food change will improve students’ health by giving them the building blocks that the human body needs. This new food plan will provide enzymes, vitamins, minerals and all nutritional needs of the stressed out student.
“Many vital and essential nutrients needed for health are heat sensitive and thus destroyed in the cooking process,” said Stan Michaels, head chef of Bruin Bites.
The way the food is prepared is to increase enzyme activity. When people eat food that has been sprouted, digestion becomes easier because of the availability of enzymes has increased making the nutrients easier to assimilate.
“There is no need to worry,” said Michaels. “The food court serves more than just rabbit food. We have brought in world famous chef Juliano who has fed many Hollywood stars.”
Juliano considers himself the father of raw gourmet food and is the author of one of the first raw food recipe books RAW.
Not only are the food courts going raw, students will be required to sign forms stating that if they are ever seen eating cooked foods on campus they will be fined or suspended from school.
“We are not here to limit people’s choices,” said Michaels. “We want to open a whole new world of food choices.”
The food court will begin serving vegan Philly wraps, Brazil nut burgers, and jicama fries. They will also offer many different gourmet salads along with a salad bar.
Some students are concerned about going raw and think that they should still be able to eat cooked vegetables.
“I’ve always felt sorry for vegans, given what I thought was a relatively limited selection of foods to eat. After a while, you eat the same things over and over, and life loses flavor. I mean, really, how many ways can you do salad and tofu? Life without ribeye sliders? Unimaginable,” said Sheila Chris SLCC student.
While it is a great idea to eat more raw food, the food courts would like to wish you a happy April Fool’s day.
