Dear Dick,
Really? Twenty miles an hour going north on I-15 at 2:15 p.m.? What could possibly drive you to go so slow on a highway?
Sure, there was a car facing the direction of traffic on the other side of the HOV lane with a police vehicle in front of it, but that should be no reason for you to slow down,
Especially considering that you were in one of the two far right lanes. There was no way that reducing your rate of speed increased safety for you, the officer or the occupants of the vehicle that was as far left as you could get on a Utah interstate without actually becoming a liberal.
Maybe you are fascinated by the flashing of red and blue lights. Is that why you slowed down, so you could see the officer in his uniform? Or were you hoping that he would turn his siren on?
Maybe you have super powers. If your rubber-necking has the power to repair vehicles and heal people, then by all means, please stop at the accident scene even if there is a police officer helping those in the vehicle. I am sure that as long as you explain to him that you have these super powers, he will be happy to let you help. Just remember to wear your underwear on the outside of your outfit and carry a mask in your vehicle at all times.
If none of this applies to you, Dick, then there is no excuse for you to slow down to 20 miles per hour on the highway. The authorities are on the scene and they do not need your middle school first aid skills. Proceed with caution, but stop driving like grandma on Sunday. Forty miles per hour is plenty slow enough for everyone.
If you are in the mode of slowing down to help, then you should really just stop and offer the help. This involves getting out of the far right lane and moving all the way over the double white lines and to the far left and stopping. Your good neighborliness will be on display for all to see as you get out of your vehicle and ask the police officer if he needs any help. No one can be mad at you for helping.
If, however, if you are slowing down because you like to gawk at what may be a gross situation, because you want to see the blood and guts involved in the aftermath of a high speed collision, then you, Dick, need to get a life or watch more YouTube videos and stop making driving hell for everyone else.
We spend enough of our time in our vehicles trying to get where we need to go and breathing the pollution that comes with commuting. We do not need drivers like you slowing down because they want to figure out what happened and what is going on.
So unless you want to be the cause of the next accident, Dick, remember that there are other people who are behind you and they aren’t interested in going 20 miles an hour just because you’ve decided that someone’s misfortune is your favorite entertainment.
Sincerely,
Shad Engkilterra