Having my Facebook status changed from “in a relationship” to “in a relationship and it’s complicated” made me think; what relationship isn’t complicated?
All relationships at one point are complicated, some more than others. Nonetheless, they are all complicated.
Everyone has feelings and thoughts coursing through the body, but expressing those emotions into words is a completely different story. Sometimes, due to differences of beliefs, ideals, cultures, education and mind set, it’s difficult for the other party to comprehend where you’ve been and where you’re coming from. You may see your relationship as calm and steady; your partner may only see it as black and white.
Having to be sincere, honest and thoughtful all at once can be a challenge sometimes, especially for those who don’t have a way with words.
Unfortunately and fortunately, relationships are completely opposite of math. There isn’t one exact answer, one right solution and no solving for X. It keeps us guessing on what to do next and if the taken action isn’t correct, it will be noticed for the lack of harmony. There isn’t a right manual to read in order to “get it right” the first time. It’s about living, falling, learning, getting up and not making the mistake again. Every day is a new day to learn about the other person and yourself; the likes, dislikes, boundaries, goals, dreams and plans. It’s somewhat of a gamble of emotions mixed with moments of euphoria.
Once I asked a guy who was in the process of divorce what he had learned with his last relationship. While chuckling, his exact words were, “I learn not to relate anymore.” It’s sad to think that this man had such a terrible experience in his past relationship that he doesn’t want to be connected to someone again. Granted, he was still in the process of divorcing.
Several years ago a study was done. The study was looking for the number one reason why couples stay together year after year. The answer…mutual respect. Mutual respect is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Like the tree needs the ground in order to grow; a relationship needs respect, trust and love. Without any of the three, it’s impossible to sustain a relationship for a long time.
In relationships, it’s necessary to mix things up and not get bogged down by daily routines. The day-to-day hustle and bustle is a hurdle couples need to jump over every day. Relationships are nothing more than a test drive for marriage, unless you are just having fun, which can cause a web of complication. To get on the marriage track, remember to shake things up a bit, be understanding, and have respect, trust, and love for your partner.