Aries – Mar 21 – Apr 19 You ready to face your fears? Either you conquer your fears, or face the consequences. There’s nothing left to fear but fear itself.
Taurus – Apr 20 – May 20 You don’t really think you can win, do you? And that’s the problem. You can accomplish anything with the proper sacrifices; you just have to believe that you can first.
Gemini – May 21 – Jun 20 What exactly are you scared of? Monsters? Ghosts? Frankly, reality is scary enough.
Cancer – Jun 21 – Jul 22 You have stumbled upon something very strange – the adventure of a lifetime. Explore it.
Leo – Jul 23 – Aug 22 We’re stronger as long as we’re together. Of course that is the secret that the legislature doesn’t want us to know. As long as we act individually, the government will do what the rich, powerful and organized want. They’ll raise tuition, again.
Virgo – Aug 23 – Sep 22 How do you know what dead feels like? Maybe if you took some mortuary classes, you could literally find out what dead feels like, but they probably frown upon that. Philosophy might be a safer bet.
Libra – Sep 23 – Oct 22 That should not have happened, but it did, so deal with it. If you don’t deal with it, it will just come back to affect your balance.
Scorpio – Oct 23 – Nov 21 Beating yourself up isn’t going to help. Everything’s screwed up around here, and it will remain so until you decide to change it.
Sagittarius – Nov 22 – Dec 21 Sometimes it’s good to talk to a stranger.
Capricorn – Dec 22 – Jan 19 This is what it’s all about–doubt. Doubt in what you believe in, doubt in yourselves. Until you have confidence in your abilities, you will be stuck where you are.
Aquarius – Jan 20 – Feb 18 What happens here will decide what is really going to happen. If that weren’t true, why would you even be here?
Pisces – Feb 19 – Mar 20 We should stick together. It’s safer. It’s also more productive. Government officials and corporations can ignore one person. It is harder to ignore ten dedicated people. Push that to a thousand and you can really accomplish something great.
Horrorscope is a parody meant for entertainment only proving that the universe doesn’t revolve around you. “The Globe” denies any resemblance to anything living, dead or undead. If the Club isn’t going to protect the valuables in your vehicle, what makes you think that cameras with no one watching will?