You might be tempted by liver, fava beans and a nice Chianti, but it really isn’t worth the price that you will be paying later on. Stick to something more familiar like a hamburger and fries or some other types of finger foods.
Scorpio – Oct 23 – Nov 21
The power of Christ compels you through the week and will help relieve a bit of the sting. Find a nice cool place and avoid the swarms of people at the local mall.
Sagittarius – Nov 22 – Dec 21
When someone asks if you’re a god, you say, “Yes.” It has nothing to do with ego, you picked up honesty from your parents and haven’t been able to shake it since moving out.
Capricorn – Dec 22 – Jan 19
You thought you were sparring and that’s why you didn’t win. Now that you know differently, you can put on your best Rocky face, shout “Adrian” and roar back into the ring with a vengeance.
Aquarius – Jan 20 – Feb 18
This may no longer be your age, but the week has your sign written all over. Just remember to never split up the party and you should be protected from any of the things that go bump in the night.
Pisces – Feb 19 – Mar 20
Piranha hunt in packs – not for protection, but for overwhelming force. They’re organized, methodical. Get together with your friends and hit the party. Nothing bad can happen there.
Aries – Mar 21 – Apr 19
You might be the one who likes to be first through the door but that sometimes includes taking the arrow. Just remember what it is all about. It’s people.
Taurus – Apr 20 – May 20
Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep, especially while driving. This week will be intense as you really learn what sleep deprivation means. Just remember, it’s all just a dream.
Gemini – May 21 – Jun 20
Saturday you might find yourself believing. The weather should be conducive to the unplanned activity that is coming your way. What a beautiful day for an exorcism.
Cancer – Jun 21 – July 22
Fishing is a great past time, and this weekend will be perfect for getting out there to catch some big ones. You’re going to need a bigger boat.
Leo – July 23 – Aug 22
You may feel like you are walking right into the lion’s den. No worries, just howl at the moon, avoid the silver bullets and you will pull through just fine.
Virgo – Aug 23 – Sep 22
When you tell your significant other that “I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.” They may wonder who Dave is, but they will get the point. It will be difficult not to be spacey this week. Just blame it on the monkeys.
The Horrorscope is meant for entertainment purpose only. There is no guarantee that anyone who reads their horrorscope will have anything happen to them during the week that relates to it. If by chance you do win the lottery or survive a holocaust because of the horrorscope, we would love to hear your story and split your rewards.